Святой Грааль нужно начинать искать с полного заполнения 125 вопросов анкеты. Важны только четыре ответа: ваше имя, любимый цвет, что ищете (правильно — святой Грааль, с двумя “а”) и столица Ассирии (Ур). Во всех остальных вопросах — стеб, и ничего более. Все 5 игр выигрывать не обязательно.

Далее, в игре десять локаций. На каждой из них необходимо выполнить квест (список ниже), то есть поставить определенный предмет в определенное место. Предмет получает номер (своей локации). Только попав за Мост Смерти поймете, зачем это надо.

В процессе хождения по локациям есть три этапа:

1. после сбивания ласточки и подбирания кокосов можно двигаться вперед. Как правило, так и делают, чтобы прослушать следующую реплику Историка.
2. После посещения всех локаций возвращаются назад через Книгу Игры и начинают собирать предметы. Предметы есть даже за Мостом Смерти ;)
3. После того, как вы найдете денежку, собирайте предметы финального этапа. Именно эти предметы надо расставить по местам.

По выполнении всех десяти квестов заполните РЕГИСТРАЦИЮ правильно и сходите в Чумную Деревеньку. Выбросите в бочку все предметы, кроме ключа (он от Сундука с Граалем) и псевдо-Граалей. Зайдите в книгу Игры и спустите ВСЕ ЗОЛОТО в ИнтерКуст! Вернитесь к старику и пройдите на мост. В связи с приколом (столица Ассирии всё же Ур) вы умрете, но возвращайтесь к жизни и идите дальше. Посмотрите Никогда-не-виденную-сцену-с-королем-Брайаном-Диким и откройте сундук ключом из мешка. Грааль ваш.

Warning: Do not use this walkthrough unless you are desperate. This truly is a game to savor, so just going through and clicking on only the important things is not recommended. The game has its tough parts, but it's not one of the more difficult ones. However, if you're near the end and need to find that one last item, feel free; or if you only bought it so that you could see the King Brian the Wild sketch, be my guest. I will soon be putting out a hint file so that those of you who want gentler hints can have them, so be on the watch. A walkthrough is much quicker to write.

[At any time during this walkthrough, feel free to click on any extraneous items you see in each game scene along the way to suit your interest, as it will hurt nothing and only make you enjoy the experience the more for it.]

Part I: Registration -fill out all questions of registration, only paying careful attention to name, what you seek, favorite color, and capital of Assyria

Part II: Gathering the Items A Sign From God -watch the opening -click on the ground -shoot the bird -take the coconut -click on the hole -click on the hole that just blew up -click on the hole that just blew up -click on the hole that just blew up -click on the first hole until you get the helmet -click on the lower right hole until you get gold -take the Holly Grail from the billboard -click on right center hole until you get bananas -click on edge of billboard (the clouds) until it repeats Go Forward to Plague Village -click on the dead body collector -click on the dead body collector and repeat until old man stops talking -click on the old man over the guy's shoulder Play Drop Dead, then return (you don't have to win) -click on curtains -click on naked man -shoot bird -take coconut -Click on naked guy -quickly click on the knight who jumps on him to take him -repeat the above two actions until there are no more knights -click on curtains -click on window, and look, but don't take it seriously -click on doorway at the top of the stairs repeatedly until the woman bashes a hole in the wall with her cat -click on hole -take gold -click on doorway again -the blue hand will try to grab your cursor and then turn into a fist: there is no way to avoid this. -drag the fist as far to the top and left of the monitor screen as you can go, then click to lose it -repeat the above if the hand comes back -click on the dung, then quickly click on the gold while it flips -click on left wheel of cart (it should come off if you click on the right part) -click on dung repeatedly until you take it Return to Sign from God -click on clouds at sides until God appears again -click on his beard until Zoot's Medallion comes out -take Zoot's Medallion Forward to Plague Village -click on cart -take dead body -click on end of leg to take cover off -click on cart (with explosions) until a large cavity opens up Forward to Witch Village -click on Bedevere -click on witch -click on Bedevere -click on witch Play Burn the Witch (you don't have to win). -click on Bedevere -shoot bird -take coconut -click on bird in tree -repeat the above until the bird lays a skull in the crowd, and take careful notice of the order that the crowd is "played" -repeat the same order of notes you saw (by clicking on sections of the crowd)as many times as necessary to get the witch to open her robe (the sequence is: lower center part of crowd, lower right, lower center, upper center) -after sequence, click on left window behind crowd -take gold from right window -click on witch until odd flying witch sequence appears Forward to the Black Knight -(after sequence) click on bridge until the Black Knight comes Play Knights in Combat as Arthur -click on Steer skull near tent -shoot bird -take coconut -click on steer skull until his story's finished -click on ditch until it fills with water -click on bridge for Arthur to go over it -click on leaf at right lower edge of screen -click on old woman's nose -take gold -click on tent to enter it -take all of the mannequin parts -click on chest -take the Holy Prosthesis -open wardrobe -take Black Knight's tights -click on head -close wardrobe -open top drawer -take gold -close top drawer (if it doesn't close automatically) -go through Diary (on bed) until you come to "PlaySquire Magazine" -take Black Knight's sword -leave tent Play Knights in Combat as the Black Knight (for fun, just don't be *too* good and kill Arthur). -click on leaf in upper left tree (if it's the right one it should fall) -click on fallen leaf -take key Return to Witch Village -take Joseph of Aramathea Forward to Black Knight Forward to Book -read through book until the page after a drawing of a page (i.e. messenger) -shoot bird -take coconut -take from the largest pile of gold 4 times -turn page -click on picture -watch sequence -click on Dial Intershrub button (you should have 1128 gold pieces) -after sequence click on Laurel -click on compose message -write something (e.g. Hope you enjoy "it"!) -click again on message button to close -click on address button -click on down arrow, then choose Knights who say Ni -click on send button -click on back, then exit -watch sequence -turn page and amuse yourself with the dialogue Go forward to Camelot -click on castle to show video -click on castle until cloud comes out -shoot cloud -click on castle -shoot bird -take coconut -click on castle to take bricks until sun and cloud come out -click on cloud -take gold Return to Book -Turn to Sir Robin's page -take sign that's at the top of the page opposite picture Forward to Camelot -click on castle until only tower is left -click on tower until it "comes" into your inventory -after peasant cart leaves click on door -click on coffin to open Forward to Loimbard -click on up hand or down hand (whichever one is necessary)until the dialogue is finished and the Catch the Cow invite appears Play Catch the Cow (you don't have to win) -click on Arthur -shoot bird -take coconut -click on Arthur until sheep's bladder comes out -quickly take sheep's bladder -click on up hand -click on brick in center section (second from right, center) until you find gold -take gold -click on top stone of left section of bricks -take "vous" -click on right French guy and shoot targets until he throws the Samurai Helmet -quickly take Samurai Helmet -click on down hand -click on the lower portion of Bedevere's garment (surcoat) and shoot targets until Rolly Polly comes out -quickly take Rolly Polly Forward to Anthrax -click on brightest star between left tree and castle -keep clicking until Virgo the Virgin shows up (there should be a sound effect when you reach it) -click on the outline of castle until there's a string of lights along top edge and lights above the door light up -click on center of lights above door to reveal sign -click on each window until the lights are on in all -click on the stubby branch (bottom center) on the long branch in the lower right of screen -take the blossoms -click on base of new branch -take the broccoli -click on base of same branch twice -click on door 5 times to go in -watch video Play Spank the Virgin (you have to win, but it's not hard). Write down the numbers and their order during the final round (the Nude Bonus Round) -leave virgins to go outside -click on Zoot -shoot cupid -take both coconuts -click on plaque above door (a row of numbers should show up) -enter the combination you got during the nude bonus round -take the Moldy Tail (i.e. gold grail above castle) -click on left tree trunk repeatedly until the monk leaves behind gold -click on castle door to go back in -sit through video sequence again -click on white virgin in upper left -click on pink virgin -click on lower white virgin -click on yellow virgin -click on green virgin -click on upper white virgin's face -click on each virgin in the room until they all have gone through four costume changes (original to gauzy nightgown, armor, costumes, kinky lingerie) -click on center virgin through same costume changes -take bodice on center virgin (part of kinky lingerie) -watch video -leave virgins to go outside Forward to Caves of Caerbannog -watch where the four spare knights come from -click on landscape (with explosions) until the explosion is right in the cave and Tim appears -click on Arthur twice -click in the areas where the four spare knights came out to get them all where they stood before -click on cave -click on rabbit -watch sequence where knights get holy hand grenades -click on cave [note: this next part takes quick timing, so you may have to try a few times] -pick up holy hand grenade with left mouse button held down, and drag it over rabbit, following the rabbit, then releasing it right when he gets to the far left disposable knight -click on dragon that comes out of hole -after chase, click on dragon again -click on the Goldy Hail that comes out of dragon while guy talks (he'll give it to you eventually) -click on cave -shoot bird -take coconut -click on cave -shoot peasant -take coin -click on cave -quickly take wooden rabbit (it might take a double click) Go forward to Bridge -disregard the message -click on mountains in background to take Huge Tracts of Land Return to Caves Forward to Bridge -click on bridge keeper -shoot bird -take coconut -click on bridge keeper -answer questions (Assyria is trick question, so you'll die the first time) -answer questions correctly after being resurrected (use same favorite color as you specified in registration)

Part III: Placing Items & Lightening Patsy's Load

[If you go forward to the bridge you'll notice that there are no boards for the first section. This section is about placing each important item in the correct place (you get a board for each one) and making Patsy's pack lighter by getting rid of everything unnecessary, so that you'll be light enough to cross the bridge.] -click on Run Away Go to Sign from God by clicking on map -click on the side clouds of billboard until "Huge Tracts of Land" appears -drag "Huge Tracts of Land" from inventory onto billboard (#1) -watch video Forward to Plague Village -drag Camelot from inventory onto grill-like cavity (#2) -watch video -now it's time to empty Patsy's pack of everything unimportant. Drag all of the following items from inventory onto the barrel: blossoms, broccoli, 11 coconuts, 9 bricks, sheep's bladder, vous, Black Knight's Tights, holy prosthesis, helmet, bananas, dung, and 7 knights. Forward to Witch Village -open inventory and scroll until Virgin's Bodice is visible -click on witch until she opens her robe -quickly drag bodice from inventory onto witch while her robes are open (#3) -watch video Forward to Black Knight -click on bridge -go into tent -open wardrobe -drag Samurai Helmet onto hat form (#4) -watch video -exit tent Forward to Book -go to Lancelot's Page -drag Black Knight's sword onto sword outline on left page (#5) -watch video -go to Knights who say Ni page -click on picture and watch video -click Dial Intershrub -buy and send to Knights who say Ni 5 azaleas and 6 elderberries (you should have 407 gold coins before this point if you followed directions correctly). -watch sequence Forward to Camelot -drag dead body from inventory into coffin (#6) -watch video Forward to Loimbard -click on up hand -drag wooden rabbit from inventory onto the top half of the bunny outline on the upper bricks of the left section (#7) -watch video Forward to Anthrax -click on bottom left-of-center of screen to bring up Zoot -drag Zoot's Medallion onto Zoot's hat (#8) -watch video Forward to Cave -drag Joseph of Aramathea from inventory onto the pedestal (#9) -watch video Forward to Bridge -drag certain death sign from inventory onto hole in the rock pile in the bottom left corner of the screen (#10) -watch video [At this point your inventory should only have the key and the fake grails. If you have more than that (which, again, you shouldn't if directions were followed) you must go back to the barrel (for items) or Intershrub (for gold)] Forward to Bridge close-up Forward to go over Bridge Watch King Brian the Wild segment -drag key from inventory onto the lock on the chest -take the grail!